Transcripts/Ally Cat

Ally Cat Part 1

[theme song playing]

♪ When super me Becomes super we ♪

♪ Suddenly, magically Pretty automatically ♪

♪ Crushing it side by side

♪ Look out, world We're Super Hero Girls ♪

♪ Now that we're together Gonna get that super life! ♪

♪ Wow!

[helicopter whirring]

Mr. Luthor. Welcome.

It's an honor.

Are we ready?

Whenever you are, sir.

Activate The Lexcavator!

Uh, you know, if it were up to me,

I'd just blow the whole thing to bits.

[laughs]

But I guess this works too.

[blows]

I told the British government that if I was going to dig under Stonehenge,

I insisted we do it without damaging the monument.

Ah, man, Lex Luthor.

What a guy.

You know, I've been searching for this particular text for years.

I hope the knowledge it contains will help make the world a better place.

[spits]

Lex Luthor just found the Book of Eternity!

The what of what now?

The Book of Eternity.

The great wizard Merlin wrote it over 1,500 years ago.

It gives whoever holds it the power to know, and thereby control, the future.

The Ancients buried it under Stonehenge to keep it out of the hands of mortals.

Nobody should have that book!

Not even a kind-hearted philanthropist like Lex Luthor?

No. Not even Lex Luthor.

So what are we gonna do, ask for it nicely?

He just spent a fortune to get that thing.

Well, he can't keep it, it's too dangerous.

Guess we'll just have to sneak into Lexcorp Tower and take it.

You want us to commit a crime.

No. Stealing a car is a crime.

This is friends coming together to pull off a complicated plan that's legally dubious but morally correct while trading banter and wearing cool outfits, all to awesome music!

This... is a heist.

Heist! Heist! Heist! Heist!

No?

Assuming this is the course of action we choose, where would we even begin?

I was born for this, you guys!

I have plans, gadgets, disguises.

I mean, I'm supposed to go to my grandma's in Gotham this weekend, but I'm sure

I can get out of that.

[car engine revving]

Does anyone know someone else who can help us break into the most heavily fortified, technologically advanced building in the world?

Um, I might.

[Catwoman] Purrfect.

[Catwoman exclaims]

[grunts]

Fine.

Go ahead, take me in so I can start working on my escape plan.

We're not taking you to jail.

Yet.

We have a proposition for you.

You will help us infiltrate Lexcorp and recover an item of great importance.

If you do this, we will let you go.

But if you don't, boom, straight to the slammer.

Wait, I'm being blackmailed?

By the Super Hero Girls?

It is not blackmail!

We are simply using your situation to make you do something you would not usually do.

Sweetie, that is the definition of blackmail.

I love it! I'm in.

All right, listen up.

Here's our plan.

The book is being kept in Lex's private suite.

The only way in is with Lex's private elevator.

The elevator itself is protected by a security guard and camera.

We'll need to get past those.

We'll also need

Lex's personal keycard.

His thumbprint. And his voice.

Lex. Rules.

[Catwoman] Thanks to Zatanna, we have tickets to Lex's charity gala tomorrow.

We'll arrive at 8:00 p.m. sharp in dresses and disguises.

We will look spectacular.

Then the fun begins.

[Bumblebee buzzing]

[beeping]

[both laughing]

[Lex Luthor]

Oh, I'm funny. [laughs]

[glass breaks]

[cracks knuckles]

-[grunting]

-[guests gasping and screaming]

[beeping]

[Lex Luthor's recorded voice]

Lex. Rules.

And that's our plan.

Now we just have to do it for real.

-[all talking at once]

-Oh, yeah.

-That sounds easy.

-It's wonderful.

We are gonna look so cool!

[groans]

-[clears throat]

-Shall we?

[Karen grunts]

[groans] Uh! Uh, guys,

I may need a moment.

A fine start.

Okay, keep things moving.

Assume your positions.

[laughs]

Hey there.

Oh, so where was I?

-Excuse me. Hi. Hello?

-Oh, that's right.

I was about 1,500 push-ups in when I realized, you know what,

I might just be pushing it--

-[grunts]

-I am most sorry.

Excuse me. [groans]

I have it.

Finally.

At least someone is doing their job.

[Diana] I am mistaken.

This is a library card.

Did you know Lex's middle name is Joseph?

-Um, hi. Uh, sorry.

-...realized, you know what,

I might be pushing it just...

-Excuse me!

-[Lex Luthor laughing]

[Zatanna chanting spell]

Can I help you with something?

Uh, yeah. You can.

You know, it is very rude to ignore someone who's trying to talk to you, especially when they are like way out of your league.

-Yes! [gasps]

-[shattering]

Uh, Catwoman, small problem.

[guests gasping and screaming]

What are you doing?

You're not supposed to start the fight yet!

I wasn't trying to.

Some of the guests here just think they're better than other people.

-[man groans]

-We're cool. We're cool.

[Bumblebee] Come in, Catwoman.

I'm almost...

[grunts]

...free!

Yeah!

[low growl]

[Bumblebee screaming]

Well, this has been enchanting, but--

Wait! What's your name?

You know it's Lex.

And what do you get in trouble for breaking?

-Laws?

-No, not that, I mean...

-[grunts]

-What the--

I am so sorry!

Uh, my vision is most clouded this evening!

[chuckles]

This says it is a platinum card, but it appears to be made of plastic.

Ugh. Fine. Just try again.

No, look. All games have them?

Starts with an R?

Uh, regulations?

[Jessica] I'll take that!

[sighs]

[groans]

-[rock music playing]

-Ugh! Can you just say--

Uh, hold on.

This song rules.

[grunts]

Again?

You must think me cursed with clumsiness.

Who invited you anyway?

Huh?

No. No, no, no. Wait.

[Zatanna] Too late.

Lex is onto us!

Supergirl! Distraction, now!

Hey, hey, meathead!

Where'd you get your face?

The ugly store?

Oh, oh, I'm so sorry.

Uh, did I do something to offend you?

If so, please, please just let me know how to make it right.

Seriously?

Excuse me!

You're not allowed to--

[groans]

[groans]

You are, without a doubt, the most incompetent, bumbling, half-witted crooks

I've ever worked with!

It is pure dumb luck that every part of this plan still worked.

[Bumblebee] Uh...

[chuckles nervously]

Not every part.

[gasps]

[guard groans]

I like that trick.

[groans]

[Lex Luthor's recorded voice]

Lex. Rules.

[Super Hero Girls chattering]

All right, everybody decent?

Secret identities safe?

-[Wonder Woman] Yep.

-[Bumblebee] You got it.

-[Supergirl] Good to go.

-[Zatanna] I am decent.

[all groan]

[all gasp]

[Green Lantern]

What is all this creepy stuff?

[Bumblebee] Uh, guys, could Lex Luthor be evil?

[Lex Luthor]

You might say that.

But I prefer the term "visionary."

I don't know, that chair spin definitely reads "evil."

Relinquish the book,

Lex Luthor!

[laughs] Yeah.

I don't think so.

Very well.

Then prepare to face--

Hold on a sec.

There's one part of the plan

I left out.

The part where I betray you.

Ooh, you should've seen that coming.

[all gasp]

Ally Cat Part 2

[theme music playing]

[theme song playing]

♪ When super me

Becomes super we ♪

♪ Suddenly, magically

Pretty automatically ♪

♪ Crushing it side by side

♪ Look out, world

We're Super Hero Girls ♪

♪ Now that we're together

Gonna get that super life! ♪

♪ Wow!

Excellent work this evening, Catwoman.

I like how hard you made them work for it.

Really felt authentic.

Our heist was part of your plan?

I do not understand.

Well. That's probably because you don't have a book that tells the future.

-[all gasp]

-See, this bad boy said you were going to ask

Catwoman to help rob me.

So I simply got to her first and made a better offer.

Believe it or not, his pockets are a little deeper than yours.

It was actually quite convenient.

II needed to bring you all here anyway.

You did?

Oh, yes. The Book of Eternity has helped me make some big plans.

And, for those plans to work,

I need there to be a distinct lack of superheroes in Metropolis.

So you're gonna try and capture all the heroes in town?

Tsk!

"Gonna?" "Try?"

[scoffs] Please.

[all gasp]

Hey! What's up, you guys?

Ha ha!

I mean... Oh no!

Lex caught Superman!

[laughs]

Shut up... doofus...

This, ladies, is only the beginning.

For the rest of my plan to work, you're just have to wait and see.

[yawns]

Now, I know you're gonna wanna try and stop me.

But I'd recommend just getting in the cages.

Because I've read ahead and, hey, spoiler alert:

You lose.

Hmmph.

Oh, predictable.

Just have a seat, enjoy the show.

[dance music playing]

No, not the song again!

Grrr!

[Supergirl grunting]

[groans]

Hmm. Still warm.

[yelling]

[grunts]

[grunts]

Ah. Much Better.

All right, enough fun.

[all yelling]

Agh!

[coughing]

[screaming]

Tsalb Xe--

[mumbling]

[grunts]

Agh!

[groaning]

Ha... ha!

[sighs]

Very impressive.

I think you'll like this more.

The amount we agreed on has already been transferred to your account.

And I didn't even have to invoice.

Ha ha ha!

Shall we?

Ta-ta, girls.

Always fun catching up.

You will regret allying yourself with that villain.

You don't know what you're doing!

That book is dangerous!

Please don't leave me in here where I have to look at Superman!

[Catwoman]

Purr!

You even called me a ride.

What a gentleman.

It's the least I could do.

You're not going to want to be anywhere near the city tonight.

Really? Why's that?

Ah... You know what?

What the heck.

We're on the same side.

[laughs] It's pretty cool.

[Lex] The book told me that tonight, a few minutes before midnight, a meteor will hit Metropolis.

And not just any meteor, either.

We're talking death-of-the-dinosaurs stuff, an extinction level event.

When it hits, the people of this city will lose everything.

They'll need food, shelter, resources.

And most importantly, leadership.

Metropolis is only the first step.

I'm going to build a new world.

A better one.

I call it LuthEarth!

Huh? Huh?

Okay, yeah the name needs a little work, but you get the idea. Right?

Here's the best part.

I already know it works.

Every single step.

All right, wait, hey, now you say...

-You're insane.

-You're insane.

Oh! So much fun!

You're really gonna let all those people die?

I don't expect you to understand.

I'm a ninth level intellect.

You're a common thief.

Please trust me when I say your best course of action is to get on that helicopter.

Atta-girl.

Darling, there's nothing common about me.

[groans]

I can't believe

I'm doing this!

[elevator dings]

[powering off]

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

Two break-ins and two betrayals in one night.

Oh, you truly are the best.

Hehe. I'm looking for the bathroom.

There she goes!

Grab her!

All right, all right, who wants to put the cuffs on me?

Agh!

Next?

[all yelling]

Ow!

Now, where was I?

Great idea trusting

Catwoman, Bumblebee.

Me?

If I ever see that slimy, two-timing, sociopathic crook again, I--

Well. If that's how you feel.

[all] Catwoman!

I knew there was good in your heart.

Save it, girls.

Lex is letting the world be destroyed by a huge meteor.

I need you to stop it.

What can I say,

I like the world.

It's where I steal stuff.

So...

A huge, world-destroying meteor?

My favorite kind.

What? Wait.

No, that's...

Somebody altered the future, but...

But that's impossible!

Well, that's not strictly true.

You... You betrayed me?

I don't understand.

I mean, obviously,

I understand, it's you.

But why didn't I see it coming?

[chuckles]

Let's just say,

I took a page out of your book.

You see,

I had a little peek when you weren't looking.

Didn't like what I saw, no no no.

So I tore out the page that said I got on that copter, so you couldn't see it coming.

How I changed the story.

The ending too.

[chuckles]

No book tells me what to do.

You ruined everything!

Agh!

[chuckles]

I know you're already thinking about what you'll do if we ever meet again.

Trust me, we won't!

Hmm.

Stupid heroes!

Won't let a girl totally control the future.

[Barbara] Wait, so I didn't just miss a heist,

I missed saving the world?

And finding out that Lex Luthor is a super-villain?

And canapes?

Aw, don't worry,

I'm sure we'll break into another high-security building soon.

No, we will not.

Oh! Shh! It's on!

We're here at City Hall, where Lex Luthor is preparing to give an official statement after having been cleared of all charges.

What? He's free to go?

It is true, I detained some superheroes last night, but they were trespassing in my office.

And as for these accusations that I was going to

"let Metropolis be destroyed?"

Ridiculous.

I didn't do a thing.

That is all technically true.

I'm just glad we could clear up what was merely a misunderstanding between me and those dangerous, vigilante

Super Hero Girls.

I'm sure they'll be much more careful in the future.

But, we just saved the world.

Why do I feel like he won?

[Lex whistling]

Huh?

[gasps]

[yells]

[panting]

So, uh...

Whatever happened with that meteor?

[groans]